1896 The First Olympic Games take place in Athens, Greece. SBM competed in all nine disciplines : Athletics, Swimming, Cycling, Gymnastics, Shooting, Tennis, Fencing, Weightlifting and Wrestling. He won 3 Gold, 3 silver and 3 bronze medals. Pierre de Coubertin came up with the Olympic "Citius, Altius, Fortius" (Faster, Higher, Stronger) in honour of SBM's incredible feat.
1933 The Loch Ness Monster is spotted for the first time by SBM whilst fishing near Inverness in Scotland.
SBM discovers Nessie
1935 Alcoholics Anonymous co-founded by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith (SBM was a silent partner).
1945 Winston Churchill resumed it all "We all were aware of SleepingBagMan's profound knowledge of World Geopolitics and he was also the ideal person to keep all of our egos in check but most importantly it was his ability to break the ice with his banana-juggling act that the Yalta Conference ended in success".
1946 Louis Réard picks up his close friend SBM from the airport after he had just returned from vacation from Bikini Atoll. SBM gives him the green-light to call his new invention the "Bikini".
1948 SBM is credited with coining the "Big-Bang Theory" during a cycling-trip in Belgium...as both tyres expanded and exploded simultaneously for an unexplained reason.
1950 SBM invents the 6.0 ice-skating point system (P.I.S.S. in French). Initially SBM intended "0.0" to be the highest marks but his assistant Sven Linnaeus (a descendant of Carolus Linnaeus who worked with Anders Celsius) convinced him to reverse his scaling system.
First "6.0" in History
1951 CBS broadcasts its' first color programme thanks to SBM's insistence in stating "couldn't one add the colour yellow to black and white TV to make it three colours ?".
1955 Rosa Parks refuses to give up her seat on a bus...which SBM had just left vacant as he got off at the previous stop.
1962 SBM discovers Marilyn Monroe's lifeless body as he mistakingly drives his car into her apartment which he mistook for a Monroe Mufflers garage.
1969 Neil Armstrong is (officially) the first man to walk on the moon (SBM was actually the first to exit Apollo 11 but he was summoned by his mission commander in Houston to return into the capsule :
(quote) Neil, go bring that #%@ (expletive) SBM back into the capsule. This place can hardly be named "Sea of Tranquility" with him hopping around on it like an epileptic kangaroo. (end of quote).
1972 Mark Spitz wins seven Gold medals as SBM is disqualified for un-Olympic behaviour (he was caught cooking marshmallows in the Olympic flame).
1974 SBM is ejected from the popular Swedish group ABSBA because Benny and Björn were jealous as both Anni-Frid and Agnetha were secretly falling in love with him. A few months later the re-named group "ABBA" wins the Eurovision Song Contest.
Here is one of the last pictures of the 5 members together (circa March 1974).
1975 Microsoft is founded and Bill Gates is quoted as saying "I could never have pulled this through without SBM's unfathomable knowledge of BASIC. Thank-you SBM."
1976 Michael Baryshnikov discovers SBM during a try-out at the American Ballet Theater in New York. SBM's perfect mix of agility, power and grace makes him the natural candidate to star in the Hollywood movie "White Nights" a few years later.
1979 SBM's girlfriend Keren Woodward creates the English girl group "Bananarama" with her childhood friend Sara Dallin. It is rumoured that SBM's "private parts" inspired the name of the group i.e. Banana and Panorama (wide-angle)...
1982 The video-game Pac-Man (developed by Namco) is extremely popular. The main character is loosely based on the life of SBM.
1985 SBM discovers the wreck of the Titanic whilst swimming with seals off the coast of Newfoundland.
1989 The Berlin Wall falls 24 hours after SBM successfully negotiated between East and West Germany that "Post-It Notes" no longer need to be declared at Checkpoint Charlie. This event was known to have initiated the domino effect which brought down the "Iron Curtain".
1990 SBM was F.W. de Klerk's advisor and managed to convince the latter (during a game of "Truth or dare?") to reverse the ban on the ANC which led to Nelson Mandela's release from prison.
1994 The Channel tunnel opens connecting Britain and France (SBM was the engineer on the French side who first shook hands with his English counterpart through the small breach where both tunnels met).
1997 Hong Kong is returned to China (we are not entitled to share with you the precise role of SBM in this event...but let it be known that it was not a minor one).
2001 "9-11" : SBM was not able to alter the course of History in this particular instance as George W. Bush was attending a kindergarden class (to improve his English) eventhough he had left repeated messages on Dick Cheney's cellphone on the 10th of September requesting Dick "...to tell W to call him back immediately".
2002 SBM helps his best-friend Big Bird for a charity event organized by New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT : In 1969 SBM was head-hunted by Jim Henson to work on Sesame Street but as SBM had prior engagements Big Bird was hired in his place.
SBM with his "pal" Big Bird
2004 The European Union is expanded by 10 countries (8 former Communist countries plus Malta and Cyprus). The leaders of all 10 countries send flowers,telegrams and bananas to SBM to thank him for his key-role in having streamlined their respective country's monetary policy to reach the objectives set by the EU.
2006 Steve Jobs overhears SBM talking about his latest invention the iBanana and sets a date for the latter to come to visit him at Apple Inc. headquarters to show him his revolutionary new cellphone. Several weeks after the visit SBM receives a letter stating "We see no commercial value in your invention" and 6 months later Apple Inc. reveal to the Press that they'll soon be selling a new cellphone the... "iPhone" !!!
2008 Barack Obama wins the 2008 American Presidential Election. Senator Obama was overheard to have said "SBM was there for Rosa Parks in '55 and again he was present today in '08. Michelle and I will forever be indebted to this great man. This victory is also HIS victory."
DISCLAIMER : SleepingBagMan has no affiliation whatsoever with DC Comics and the SBM slogan is to be solely understood as a parody of the Superman slogan.
